RING!

I was sitting watching V For Vendetta (which is a total skadoosh of a movie, in the most positive connotation possible) last night when the doorbell rang.

My heart started to pound louder than the Tchaikovsky Overture blaring from the TV. I wasn't expecting anyone.

I tried to calm myself down. "It could be anyone; your neighbors, one of those door-to-door evangelists, a salesperson.... or a crazy psychopathic runaway inmate intent on shooting your brains out when you answer the door point-blank."

Ohhh shite.

Please don't laugh readers, but this is my biggest fear.

I know it's sort of a comical one, and it definitely isn't a phobia because eventually I'll open the door and be greeted by someone asking if I want a new roof or whatever; but there's always those 10 seconds, before my hand turns the knob, of pure terror.

There is a long window next to my door; however, its position is so that you can only see straight ahead, and a few inches to either side. Unfortunately, the builders of my house did not have the foresight to imagine the kind of blindspot that the front of our door is.

The only way to find out who rang the bell... is to open up and face him or her (But I think most psychopathic inmates are guys... is that a stereotype?).

I need one of those peepholes.